Introduction
I am currently reading a series of mediations by David Roper in a book entitled: Teach Us to Number Our Days. I would highly recommend it to those of you who, like me, are aging faster than you would like. In the book, in a chapter entitled, “Learning to Listen, ” David provides ten ways you can know that you are not listening to others.
How to Know You are Not Listening to Others
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- When I am thinking about an answer while others are talking – I’m not
listening.
- When I give unsolicited advice – I’m not listening.
- When I suggest they shouldn’t feel the way they do – I’m not listening.
- When I apply a quick fix to their problem – I’m not listening.
- When I fail to acknowledge their feelings – I’m not listening.
- When I fidget, glance at my watch, and appear to be rushed – I’m not listening.
- When I fail to maintain eye contact – I’m not listening.
- When I don’t ask follow-up questions – I’m not listening.
- When I top their story with a bigger, better story of my own – I’m not listening.
- When they share a difficult experience and I counter with one of my own – I’m not listening.
- When I am thinking about an answer while others are talking – I’m not
How to Know You are Not Listening to God
Although all of these are not directly applicable to learning to listen to God, I thought I would put my spin on how to know that you are not listening to God based on the above ten principles from David Roper:
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- When I am thinking about how to come up with the right words to say to God – I’m not listening to Him. God does not need well worded responses. Pour out your heart to him. Don’t wordsmith your response.
- When I try to tell God how to run the universe – I’m not listening to Him. He is not looking for advice.
- When I am challenging God’s ways – I’m not listening to Him. That said, He invites us to be honest with Him about what we are feeling – but a posture of listening invites us to learn His ways. God only revealed His deeds to the children of Israel – but His ways He revealed to Moses. (Psalm 103:7)
- When I am looking for a quick answer from God to a complex problem – I’m not listening to Him.
- When I am struggling to know I am loved by Him and His strong feelings toward me, – I’m not listening to God. God has spared nothing to share His reckless love with you. And He has spoken extensively on this topic.
- When I fidget, glance at my watch, and appear to be rushed – I’m not listening to God.
- When I fail to maintain eye contact – I’m not listening to God. God has said: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will advise you with My eye upon you. ” (Psalm 32:8). When we take our eyes off Him, we are not listening.
- When I don’t ask follow-up questions – I’m not listening to God. This is one of the key principles we teach about listening prayer. Keep the dialogue going when God has spoken to you. Ask follow-up questions like: “What does that mean? and “Can that really be true?”
- When God’s simple response is not enough for us – I’m not listening to Him.
- When God shares a difficult word with me and I counter with one of my own difficult words to God – I’m not listening. Again, I am not saying that we not say those difficult words to God. But when we do, it is important to know that we are not in a listening posture.
There is much that can be said about how to know when you are not listening to God – but I thought that Mark Roper’s framework for listening to others would provide a helpful window through which to look at this topic from a different angle. Most of the principles about listening to other persons apply to listening to God – because God is a person – actually three persons in one. For more about discerning God’s voice in prayer – check out my blog by the same title.